Generation Gap
The generation gap is a popular term used to describe differences between people of a younger generation and their elders, especially between a child and his or her parent's generation. The term first became popularized in Western countries during the 1960s and described the cultural differences between the young and their parents.
The generation gap is the accumulation of differences, subtleties, and ideas between people born during separate time periods. The gap often leads to misunderstanding and lack of trust between the two parties. The elders are more critical of the younger generation with a big inventory of complaints against the young and the young mostly tend to ignore the grumbling, mumbling and occasional loud protestations of the older generation. But now and then they do protest. They resent the petting attitude of the elders.
The generation gap is the constant struggle of the parents to prevent their kids from doing things that their own experiences and wisdom tell them is going to harm their kids. The kids on the other hand try constantly to prove to the parents that they are equipped to take control of their lives. Neither is wrong - they are both right in their own premise. The parents blinded by their love for the kids would rather have their own experiences replace the experiences of their kids. Whereas, the kids are convinced that their decisions are right and are based on current situations that the parents may not necessarily be aware of. Their most common statement is "Ma things are different now"
The most common mistake the parents make is that they do not treat kids their age - its either they are too young or they measure them at their own level.
There may be the following differences between the old and the young:
- Of ideas on general conduct comprising dress, food habits etc.
- Morality, marriage & career
- Of tastes on art, music, literature, and in short total outlook.
- Family unit breaking up and gradually losing the importance it once had. The central authority of the paternal figure becoming redundant.
- Imposition of the self-righteous attitude of the older generation on the young.
- Biological evolutionary difference
It's not necessary that the kids do not understand their parents' love and their concern but they just think that they are in a different era. Till such time people themselves do not become parents and get to the same pedestal they do not realize.
The generation gap is of course not a given for all families. There are many households where it doesn't occur at all. There are fights and arguments and children defying their parents but these are occasional and minor.
What then are these families doing right? Here are a few of their secrets: -
- Lots of communication and involvement - this one's obvious but not always easy to follow. It just means that if you're not talking to the children because you're too busy or too mad at them or because you disagree with whatever they say then you've cut off your channel of communication. So what you need to remember when dealing with teenagers is that they may be insufferable know alls a lot of the time but they'll learn that there are gray shades between the blacks and the whites soon enough. Also that intolerance or a judgemental attitude will hurt you more than your child.
- Lots of time spent together in play and fun- its harder to think you hate your mom or dad when you spend a large part of your week having fun with them. It's even harder when in many ways they are your best friends. Clear boundaries - thus far and no further or they will face clearly defined consequences. As long as children know this, you and they both can be much freer with each other without you worrying about being taken advantage of.
- Clear values - make it clear that everything has to be earned. If they want respect for their opinions they have to learn to respect the opinions of others. Similarly other values to stress are honesty, compassion and tolerance.
- Foster self-dependence - essentially this means teach them to know their own minds and make their own decisions. This will help them to keep their balance in the face of peer pressure. Self-dependence starts early - let your child have a say in family affairs as well as in matters personally affecting him from the time that he is a toddler. Let him help with family chores and earn a part of his own money. Make it clear that even when he makes mistakes, it's not the end of the world - it's an essential part of the learning process.
Generation gaps can be reduced to some extent by making efforts. I must mention here most efforts must come from the parents - they have the wisdom. It becomes easier to adjust if the parents constantly refresh their memories by their own past outrageousness.
Hope you enjoyed reading this blog post. Please input your valuable comment and share your personal experiences. ~Rohan Rawat
Tags: Relationship, society
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